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The Hobbit
J.R.R. Tolkien
Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #1
Andrea Speed
If You Stay  - Courtney Cole “I’m an asshole. There are some things in life that can’t be explained. Period. Assholes are assholes. Rainbows are pretty. Kittens are cute….”This book was passionate and intense. This is definitely a New Adult book, nothing even close to the Young Adult genre, which some books blur the line between the two. At times the book is graphic and somewhat crude, which almost made me stop reading as that type of writing isn’t really my style, but I’m glad I kept on reading as it did have a great story.I did enjoy Mila’s character. She was direct with Pax and didn’t play games. I did find her to be naïve at times about Pax. “I don’t think he actually has a drug problem. I think he uses, and of course I hope he stops.” This I had a problem with. She found him passed out in his car and saved him from death, but she doesn’t think he has a drug problem? Yes, maybe he wasn’t an addict, but he obviously did have a problem with using and needed help. What if he didn’t stop and kept on going with more and more drugs? Would he have had an addiction then? He kept on saying throughout the book that his not an addict he just uses to stay in oblivion. Either way it wasn’t healthy and he needed professional help.I didn’t think that Mila really had the right to be mad at Pax when he told her about what he did at the bar in Chicago. He was trying to be honest and start the relationship right, so I’m glad he called her out on it when she accused him of cheating before they even began dating. “We aren’t even dating and you’ve cheated on me already.” No. You haven't even gone on a date yet. That's not cheating. “And I did not cheat on you. We weren’t together. You rejected me, remember?”I found Pax put Mila on a pedestal at times and did worry that by doing so was going to harm the relationship, but it didn’t. I was impressed with Pax by the end of the book. He promised Mila he would try to be faithful, both from other women and drugs, and I honestly didn’t think he would be able to do both. I thought he would slip with the drugs, but he didn’t, and when he empty his vial of pills that first week I was like “Wow, good for him, maybe he does really want to change.”Pax’s relationship with his father was tough. Neither would communicate with each other. Pax wanted his father to treat him like an adult and thought his father still saw him as a child, but honestly I don’t blame the father for still seeing him as a child when Pax was still acting like a child. His father should have been getting Pax help a long time ago and failed as a parent in that way, but nobody is perfect and his father had his own guilt and grief to work through. When Pax’s past finally comes to light it is shocking and heartbreaking. You can completely understand how he could have supressed the memories.Can you really change a person? They have to want to change for themselves not for someone else. I think in this case Pax may have started off wanting to change to impress Mila, but in the end he changed for himself, which is why they needed time apart for him to cope with his past.